How to be a woman

In response to Steve Pavlina's How to be a Man

In this day and age it sometimes feels inappropriate to draw distinctions between man and woman. There has always been so much controversy mired around whether or not men and women are treated equally, whether they should be treated equally, and the all important: which is the superior sex. These questions sometimes turn life into a sort of competition between sexes, and stops people from looking at the important questions: What does it mean to ME to be a man/woman, what facets of my male/female energies can I be embracing to better live the life I want to live, how can I better live with passion and certainty and fulfill my life's purpose.

When we start to ask ourselves how we can be a better man/woman we learn about the type of human being we want to be, and how our identity with our gender can help to facilitate that. I know that by embracing the gifts that come with being a woman I will be a far better person for it than if I simply allow the more difficult parts of being a woman rule me.

With all that being said, here are my thoughts on the type of woman I want to be...

How to be a Woman

A woman should first understand that she is so much more than a woman. She is a bright beautiful being who should spread her light as far and wide as she can. Bring light into other's lives and your own light grows stronger and stronger. There are so many ways to bring light into the world, as a mother, as a role model, as a friend, as a lover, as a creator, as an entrepreneur, as a writer, as a helping hand.... The possibilities are endless, but when the desire is to spread your light, you can do anything.

To be truly able to spread light and joy a woman must first cultivate this in herself. If she only has a small tender flame that can be blown out by the slightest ill-wind or word, she has to meanly protect it and hide it from others. This only serves to starve the flame of oxygen and make it even smaller. A woman must look inside herself, find her own light, and feel safe in the knowledge that no one else can harm it. She must cultivate her own self confidence by loving herself first and foremost, by understanding that she is here to create a life of joy, and by loving the physical form that allows her to learn and experience so much. A woman should revel in her body, know that she is beautiful, soft, and sexy. She should enjoy looking and feeling good on the inside and out. A woman should know what makes her happy and do the things she enjoys, even if it's as simple as sewing, playing basketball, watching a really bad movie. :)

A woman should expect love and light from others. She should know what she is worthy of and expect the best from the relationships in her life. When things are not going well a woman should know that it is not her responsibility to change anyone else. All she can do is offer her love and trust, she cannot save, change or mold another person and should not want to be put in a situation where she is expected to do so. She should know when to move on and let go and have the courage to do it. While a woman should cultivate her own light from within, she should share it freely and look for ways to bring more light into other's lives. She should encourage other's in their own hopes, dreams and pursuits and support them where she can, while never forgetting her own purpose. A woman should never put her own dreams second to anyone else's.

Women have a wonderful gift. Women are born with a strong link to their feelings and emotions. This can at times be either a blessing or a curse. Emotions can either take you soaring to the sky, or crashing to the earth. A woman should always learn not to control her emotions, but to understand them. She should have the ability to take an emotion, feel it, and ask herself why it is there. Feelings guide us and help us understand if we are following a path that is true to ourselves and the person we want to be, or if we are going in the wrong direction. It is a huge gift to have a strong link to your emotions and women should embrace this and use this to empower them in following their path and inner guidance. Even in times of turmoil a woman should understand how to quiet her mind, breathe, find some peace, and look at the root of the emotion before moving forward.

A woman should know that she can have a huge impact on the world. She should allow herself to dream and imagine the things that she can do and the impact she can have. Just encouraging a shift of energy in one person can help lift up others all around them. A woman shouldn't be afraid to do whatever she wants to do with her life. She should know that she is her own perfect guide. With trust in herself she can find and fulfill her purpose. She should know that she is an expansive being, that her love and joy can spread well beyond herself, family, and friends. Her impact can reach farther than she could possibly imagine, if she can open herself up to the possibilities that are out there. The bigger her dreams and imagination, the bigger her ability to impact this world.


Simply, a woman should create a life of joy and bring as much light to this world as she can before moving joyously onto the next. She should come into this world with a smile on her face, and go out laughing.